Risk?

Of course its one of those dangerous four letter words that we tend to avoid at all costs. But its also the word that's been on my mind all day.

Noun A situation involving exposure to danger: "flouting the law was too much of a risk".

Verb Expose (someone or something valued) to danger, harm, or loss: "he risked his life to save his dog".

Turns out by definition it can be used in multiple ways, but maybe that's why I for one have a problem with those "four" letter words. They're dangerous, unpredictable, and impossible to pin down at the best of times. They also happen to represnt things we face in our day to day life, yes life, if we aren't, for instance, taking risks are we living?

I'm not saying we should all fly off the handle and spend our lives savings to do something that would jeopardize our general safety or well being, but in a more rational way perhaps like cutting fringe "bangs" or deciding to invest yourself in someone you've had a crush on for a long long time. Little risks, they're fun, and at the worst its how we learn. Or have to re-learn something that's already been taught to us.

Do I risk my situation with Charles to go out with Derek on Saturday? Or do I risk my chances with Derek not knowing how everything will unfold with Charles? I suppose the biggest risk I have is not making a choice either way... but beyond all of that do I risk letting myself be hurt?

Relationships are so much like hair in my world. They're constantly changing evolving, being cut short, or allowed to drag on and continuously grow. For instance if you try someone out like bob and you go on a date, fall head over heals with him, its like pinning your hair up in the back trying to simulate the always trendy beautifully graduated A line. Sometimes we can toy with an idea or person to see if its a perfect fit before we take that plunge.

Maybe the point of this blog isn't that we should fear risk, but embrace it instead. Because as I know everyone has seen that quote "life isn't about waiting out the storm, but learning to dance in the rain". 
And I for one am completely okay with a little rain...

I know what I want and I know I wont get it unless I choose to brave a couple rain clouds. But one thing I can promise you is that I will never forget how to dance. 

I hope you feel the same way, I need to get to bed I have a lot of important things to take care of tomorrow.

xoxo

the many shades of in between.

Turns out that the scariest thing that can happen to us is that we get exactly what we want. The hardest part of getting what we want is recognizing it for what it is before we screw it all up.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

It takes a lot for me to be able to admit that I am more often than not blind to the reality of many situations due to the fact that I choose to see them only in black and white. Every shade of gray, all of the space between yes and no, its dangerous.  And that space also happens to be where lives are made, love is found, and truth can be discovered. I am promising to give this time, every situation I am in, they all just require time. There's no rush and I don't want to be stuck regretting the choices I made today a year from now.

I need to focus on me right now, getting ready for my state boards, taking care of my clients in school.... there is way more than enough on my plate at the moment so why should I be soooooo obsessed with adding a man to it? Maybe part of me thinks that it would help me eliminate other stresses, guess I am a bit naive still. But if I didn't have more life experiences waiting out there for me, you wouldn't have anything juicy to look forward to reading right?

just something to think about

xoxo

Date Night

At the moment I'm flying down I-94 with my roommate Austin behind the wheel. I know I haven't posted here in a while but that's not from a lack of material to write about. So much has gone on lately right now were going to Richardton to pick up a couch for our house!  It's almost amazing that a few short hours ago I pulled myself off of the living room floor from where I crashed last night... Last night I had an officially unofficial date with Charles we went and saw le mis it was an amazing movie - god I love Anne Hathaway.  

But that's not the point of this post, when we have a date we want to present ourselves in a very similar way to how we get ready for a job interview. I know I do at least, I over think every detail, buy a new outfit, do my hair, and try to present my best side. I want to be a person they want to have in their life. Well I guess as long as they fulfill my list if need sand wants as well. Haha which turns out is no easy task.  

Now, getting back to first dates and why they suck haha I thought I was gonna puke! I'm also terrible at making the first move, turns out I'm a chicken... But aren't we all? I know one of my biggest fears is rejection, but who can honestly say they aren't afraid of rejection as well? Even if your the most secure person in the world, if u get shot down its going to take a toll on you. I'm not 100 percent on whether I got rejected or not last night but I did end up getting done clarity into the situation I'm in Charles kinda came clean about a lot of stuff with me last night and I put down a bottle of sky vodka on top of all the other drinks and shots we had at the bar... Maybe I just need to reflect on this more it could be my hangover but everything seems jumbled in my head still :/  well wish me luck

xoxo