1800

Welllllll..... today i hit my 1800 hour mark in school! This is huge, it means I have met and have fulfilled my hourly requirements to practice cosmetology in the state of North Dakota! Its kind of a crazy feeling, I mean there is still so much more to do like take and pass my state boards, but I'm honestly not that worried about it. This was a huge hurtle for me and I know that now that I've accomplished this the next 300 hours are a piece of cake! ;)

thanks if your reading this and supporting me!
XOXO

Christmas Eve Ramblings.

Does life ever slow down? Or is it that as we get older there's more and more to be in control of, more variables to hold down.  Well, today I helped Austin start moving into our new house, I'm so excited for this new chapter; but with all of this change I feel there's even more yet to come to a head. Of course school is still taking its toll on me, but  in a few short weeks that will all be done as well. Beyond all of that there's a guy, yes of course, i know your not suprised.

Charlie, or Charles, well he is one of the most interesting people I've met in Bismarck for a very long time. He's strong, interesting, mysterious, and fun. Did I mention how good looking he is? Or the fact that he has a job, car, is over 21 and not married? I'm going to be careful and not put all of my eggs in one basket so to speak but I'm not seeing anyone else either. I just want to take my time and go slow with this. Worse case scenario I want us to be friends. Best case scenario... white picket fence?

Austins is heading up to Garrison with his girlfriend Brooke, and my brother Nick is going to his girlfriends friend Amber's house tonight. Which leaves me taking grandma up to my aunt's for Christmas eve. It's honestly so overwhelming sometimes.... the traditions you grow up with, like your family being together for the holidays, well, they change as you get older. Its almost like a little piece of my heart is broken which sounds lame but this is going to be my first Christmas eve spent without a member of my immediate family. I'm 22 and I'm sure there are clearly worse ways to spend tonight, but this is also my family's first Christmas without my grandfather as well, which I'm sure explains why my grandmother is not in the highest of spirits.

Okay, time to pick myself up out of the gutter.

(Deep Breath)

So, the original thought behind this post was, of course relationship related. I was toying with idea of why we play games with the people were romantically interested with. Is it normal or rational to feel afraid to be the first person to send a text or call? Well I'm sure its normal but its definitely not rational. Maybe that's why dating is so frustrating and confusing, its been warped out of something beautiful like courtship into a irrational mind game.  Here this thing though, all games have rules, but not all rules apply to every situation. ---- moment of realization


I refuse to think of romance as a game. If I'm with someone who finds me genuine and interesting I'm not putting rules on it that aren't even there in reality. However I still will more than likely not have sex on the first date, but I wont be afraid to call or text them after having an amazing night together.

Why is it so much easier to think when your writing? I get caught up on these ideas in my head but the moment I put fingers to keyboard, I may as well eliminate half the garbled mess in my head.


Well if your reading this today, Merry Christmas, safe travels, and I hope you find your evening filled with love.

XOXO

Mike Helm - Ready or Not

"You be my William, I'll be your Kate"

So much has been going on, this seems to be a recurring theme in my life for some reason. But all joking aside, Its been insane for me, hair is like a fire burning inside me; sounds like an exaggeration but no. Its what I'm passionate about, everything about it. Its bad when your laying awake in you bed at night thinking about the fun new hair cuts/colors/styles you're infatuated with at the moment. I think its fair to say I Eat, Breath, and Sleep this industry.

Also i got to meet Mike Helm the other day, and he saw me doing hair.... If you know who he is, you would understand why this is a big deal to someone attending a PM School. If not maybe you should do some homework ;)

Mike was a great guest artist because he brought humanity into our school even if it was just a few hours of it, I can guarantee you it made an impression on all of us in the room.  He spoke to us about his dear friend Andrew Gomez and how he touched so many peoples life's while struggling in his own with bipolar disorder. Andrew Gomez took his own life on February 7th and honestly I believe our industry lost a great man that day. I want to be a day maker and Mentor like he was for so many. If I can help one person then I know I'm successful. Andrew was Mike's best friend, Now in his honor PM has the Andrew Gomez Dream Foundation. Mike is the CEO of this charity. Mike shared a touching poem with all of us and he struggled through reading it, we struggles through listening to it, there honestly wasnt a dry eye in the room. this is the poem:

The Race

by: D.H. Groberg 

"Quit, give up, you're beaten"
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place

The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one

The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"

He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again

He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he though
I've got to move real fast

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again

Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way

"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face

"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race

With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall

So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit

So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said
"You rose each time you fell"

it was an extremely touching poem delivered in a very heartfelt manner.


On to a more happy subject, I found where I will be living after school I'm getting a house perhaps with some friends! The last two nights we've been hanging out there and of course casually drinking and playing hide and seek in the empty house... which is shockingly more fun than I would have ever guessed. If you ever have the chance I suggest giving it a try! I feel like im starting  a new chapter in my life and I am honestly more than excited maybe there will be some more romance in my future as well ;)

sorry there wasn't much about new hair trends just living my life in this industry, but if you haven't yet check out hairdesignertv.com !

XOXO

a grain of sand, a minute of sanity

Well, a lot has been going on as of late, 2100 is going amazing I feel like its completely changed the way I work with hair. I'm learning so much in the classes and being able to utilize it on the clinic floor. I honestly feel like I'm a very strong hair stylist now, I've learned a few new ways to "bring it",

SO much has gone on though, I got to meet Vivien Mackinder, She is a true legend. Right now she's based out of NYC but before that she worked in the UK and was the creative director for Vidal Sassoon at the age of 23. Her portfolio and range of work was so comprehensive I was honestly left speechless. (Which I'm guessing if you read my blog, you know that doesn't happen to me very often)

- One quote that sticks out to me from everything she said, and she said a lot. It was an full 8 hour day of training with her. is this "You can choose to be in the removal business, or the design business."  When I look at hair now I feel like its so much more than what I thought before, with Paul Mitchell Systems, you in the beginning learn cutting in a very precise geometric fashion, sometimes great fashion stems from art, art happens to live in design and we cant have one without the other. Hair isn't something where I can tell you that if you always do it one way you will always achieve the same result. Just like every person who sits in our chair is different and an individual so is their hair. They all want something different and unique, we want our external to match our internal, and theres nothing wrong with that. That's why as hair dressers we have two choices with our work, we can be in the business of removing it without a care in the world, not questioning if we are doing our clients a disservice, or we can be in the business of designing for them a custom piece of art, that is perhaps even more important than any painting or sculpture they will every hang or show. Their hair is a piece of art that they will wear everyday of their life. Its every woman and mans first accessory whether they choose to recognize it or not. 

Now as for a little bit of my personal life, does anyone know how to get balance? Like for real, this whole thing everything has been so overwhelming lately, school, friends, family, work, and not to mention love. In all honesty if their were a award ceremony for dating like there are for movies, I would most definitely be nominated in multiple categories.  The lions den seems to be going okay, all things considered, its funny how when you start seeing things for what they really are, sometimes you realize you were worried about something that shouldnt have even been on your radar.


here's a fun video hopefully i get a chance to do this cut sometime this week!

The lions den...

Or so it would seem.

(let me just preface this with the fact that I am aware that I make typos in my blog, and frankly I dont care. - thanks! no ones said anything about them, just letting you all know)

Well tomorrow I start my 2100 hour classes Kind of a mixed bag of emotions right now. Turns out Dan wasn't the only guy I'm seeing that currently has a wife; Mr. Realestate is equally as guilty if not more, his wife just pends most of her time in Minot. Which also explains how he has so much time for me. Well he certainly wont be receiving the same quality scalp massage in the wash house anymore. (again another failed attempt at a joke) maybe my humor is only good in real life.)

Kind of stressed about my 2100 hour situation, I'm excited for starting new classes and continuing my education, but honestly I'm kind of worried I will be walking in there with a target on my back. kind of not excited for that aspect. I guess someone was complaining out loud to one of our learning leaders about how I shouldn't be in there, which is ironic since my tuition is being payed just like theirs is.  But, I guess with someone people it just doesn't really matter.

Today in school I got to help a few other future professionals - in Paul Mitchell language that means students. Its kind of cool showing them things I've already learned and giving them tips and tricks like how to create custom colors by enhancing and neutralizing unwanted pigment. If there's one thing I'm glad for its how much experience I've had with color during my time at JZ Trend.

You know that feeling when you feel like you need to listen to your instincts, well I've been having that a lot lately and honestly I'm not 100% on whether I should listen or not.. It seems like my logic side of my brain is stronger than my intuitive side, however i know that doesn't mean logic automatically wins out every time.

I'm just confused, not sure whether I'm coming or going... but maybe that's the path I'm on right now. Maybe the beauty of the situation is that I'm the one in charge whether I listen to my logic or intuition every decision from here on out is what i want.

So whether is my love life or school that's the lion den, I guess  only have one choice, I'm going in and hopefully I will make it out the other side.

Wish me luck,
xxoo

 Matt

yes its 2 am

and I cant sleep. smh.

Today was an interesting day to say the least, I spent two and half hours outside moving and setting up a hot tub. And while I can say I can check another accomplishment off my list of things didn't know I wanted to do, it was truly an experience I'm glad i had.

With my world existing so much in design and what look is currently trending it was nice to just get my hands dirty and do some manual labor. I'm not saying I particularly enjoy lifting insanely heavy objects but lets face it its nice to show a side of ourselves that we don't normally get to. It's also nice knowing we can put ourselves outside of our comfort zone and finish a project others wouldn't be able to.

 (if this starts making less sense I just drugged myself with allergy medicine my sinuses have seen better days. - note: I unknowingly chose to wear flip flops and a hoody as my outside gear for today it was 19 degrees and colder if you count windchill. So I'm positive I shall befall some sort of viral plague as a result.)

I've been thinking a lot about some of my past relationships and I'm sure this is a bad thing. I've been second guessing some of my relationships in the past. There are obvious reasons why I've ended them or why they fell apart; but all the same, seeing exes, its always like being stabbed in the stomach. - and sometimes like they're twisting the blade.

  - Why is this relevant?

well, its got me thinking about my current almost relationships. I know, plural, it sounds bad. But I'm working on narrowing it down substantially.  I'm just so confused. I've been told by some one the men in my past that I require a certain type of attention. Is that bad?  I don't feel like I'm reaching for the stars its just that for some reason i require a lot of attention. But the attention has to be on my terms. I don't want you being clingy to me, but if i expect you to drop everything and come over, well, if you want to stay in my world you only have one option.  - not to imply I'm some sort of dictator, I fully understand people have other things going on but if your sitting at home or having a beer with your friends you see every other day, please respect the fact that I am a priority. Or that if i text you, i expect more than a one word response.

So this brings me to my current dilemma, I spent some amazing time with Dan the other night, he was thoughtful and we had amazing conversation, and then well we had some equally great physical chemistry if you know what I mean. Here's where it gets tricky, Dan is currently in the process of getting a divorce, ha typical right? The divorce isn't what I'm concerned about at all actually. I'm not sure if he knows the whole back story for this crazy train he's about to get himself on. i.e. me.

And on top of all that there are a few other men competing for my attention. I honestly don't find any of them as interesting at the moment as Dan but I guess we are just going to have to see about that. Especially since Amanda's having a party this weekend and she wants me to bring someone with. - maybe i should be more cautious about who I'm putting all of this out there to but honestly I'm just going to hope for the best. Writing seems to be my best way to figure out my life lately.

I guess I'm just confused, I don't feel like the attention I require could be more specific or that I require more than would be normal in any other relationship. But, at the same time i guess crazy people don't know they're crazy. (me attempting to make a joke)

Moving on! In any case my hair doesn't require and special attention anymore, I'm healthy. At least one part of my life is uncomplicated.

Now if only it were this easy to fix and take care of everything else.

If you, like me are looking for a break, try this! A dab on the wrist or behind your ears, maybe even adding it to a bath if you have the time for a relaxing soak.

Lavender Mint Essential Oil

Pure Essential Oil

Basics:

This versatile oil inspires harmony and restores balance.

Benefits:

Helps ease everyday tensions.

Bonus:

Provides a soothing aromatherapy session.

Details:

• Pure lavender oil helps ease fatigue, headaches and anxiety.
• Natural mint oils help bring clarity.
• Tingly tea tree is a natural antiseptic known for its healing properties.

Anyway, I am off to bed where hopefully I can get some rest. Take care xoxo

The Search of...

 - quick scroll to the bottom and play the song before going on and reading this blog.



Something better. That's my generation it seems. We're re all looking even if we have exactly what it is we need and want. There's some belief deeply rooted in our minds. Its that deep want and belief that maybe were missing out on something even better than what we already have. I for one am terrible with this, i want so desperately to have the best of everything, from hair, to clothing, to love. Love, that's the tricky one. Do we ever stop looking for our one great love? What if we already have our great love? Is it that we only get one great love? Can we get multiple options for our happily ever after?

I personally want so desperately to feel loved unconditionally; find my other half, the person who will face forever with me. But, alas I am a hopeless romantic and idealist. I don't know if you've had the opportunity to learn that about me yet or not.

I'm sure by now you wondering what this has to do with hair right? well here's the loop. Stop looking for something better, feel free to change, but not scared to trust. Try keeping the same stylist, They know you, they know your style, how your hair lives, how you live. They've been cutting your layers and and know how to maintain what you love. The same is true with relationships, if we keep sampling other lovers, well, we pick up little pieces of them and leave pieces of ourselves with them. The next thing you know your walking around the product of diluted misguided actions. Your hairs uneven and your personal life's one round brush short of a great blow out.

Now, let me challenge you if you like me are date hopping, stop, give them a real chance. Give your hair stylist the opportunity to be everything you want. And don't be afraid to trust and take in what they have to offer you.  This could be a truly pivotal point for me, and you. Lets make a change.